My friends (and I do mean friends…not acquaintances) are some of the most down to earth people I know. Here is why: If I can’t be honest in my words, emotions, and reactions, I usually won’t have much to say or express. And it takes a bit of time being around someone, and observing their reactions and interactions to speculate how well they will handle me being myself around them, and how much of that they can take.
You see, in any given hour, I can go from hyperactive, to cynical, to hilarious, to brooding, to infinitely excited, or I could be all that all at once. With my friends, I can express all this because I feel comfortable around them, and can do the craziest things when they’re my audience. It’s not because I think that they won’t judge me, but because I trust that they will still be my friends regardless (not frenemies or acquaintances that will politely endure my company).
Most importantly, I don’t feel the need to pretend to be something that I’m not, because trust me, I went through that phase and not only was it very exhausting, I wasn’t very good at it either – I could never keep up appearances long enough for them to count towards a new reputation in those secondary school years.
Secondary school social life was about trading the right people for gossip, and making the right set of friends (no real formula, but be close “friends” with at least one super popular, one super pretty, and one super smart person). And if you refer to my previous post, here, you’ll get the sense that I wasn’t particularly good at the trading the right info part either.
So, in college, I found the friends that worked, Instead of trying to re-tailor myself for the ones that wouldn’t. I learned not to beat myself up over the ones that didn’t stick, but to see it in simply empirical terms, if you will – not compatible.
It sure makes life a lot easier once you realize that not every friendship that doesn’t work out is as a result of any inadequacies you may or may not have. It also helps when you recognize that one has to envy or admire something about someone else in order to stay friends with them, because friends have to make you aspire to something.
Think about it: what do your friends make you aspire to? Beauty? Perfection? Chicness? Kindness? Popularity? Hilarity? Excellence? Intellect?
I can say that I’m neither shy nor snobbish – maybe, I can be a little more than reserved, and maybe a little timid on occasion (who isn’t?). But the real reason I cannot objectively answer the title question is that I don’t know a lot of snobs well enough: I’ve had very little chance to observe one closely. Maybe there are shy snobs out there, I can’t say for sure. But if you’ve managed to read up to this point, please let me know what you make of my musings – redundancy, or oxymoron, or maybe neither?
See the first part of this title, here!