Why Would Everyone Want to Look The Same?

The internet is surfeit with galleries of celebrities, from A-listers to Z-listers, who have changed their appearances in order to achieve or maintain a particular kind of prettiness. And I say “prettiness” because I think beauty is so much deeper than what you see when you look at a person. Always with the nips, tucks, facelifts, cheek implants, engorged lips, and narrowed straightened noses that I could slice cheese on. The “after” pictures of these celebrities always show that they were shooting for very similar looks.

For a society that incessantly preaches individuality, there is an inordinate amount of people trying to copy a certain idea of what “good-looking” means. It may have started in Hollywood, but it is slowly and steadily spreading through to the rest of the population.

Homogeneity of any kind, in the big picture, is not usually a great thing. It is not always a good thing to maintain a non-changing culture among a homogeneous group of people. What does a community become when their culture or appearance is not allowed to evolve with some introduced heterogeneity? A cult? Another extinction? See Elif Shafak’s talk on fiction, if you wish to get a better understanding of what I’m saying here.

Also, think about it from the perspective of a scientist for instance. There is a reason a wide and varied gene pool is necessary for the survival of the human race. It is one of the medical/biological reasons close relatives are discouraged from getting married and/or having kids with each other.

There is a reason every individual person was created to look different from the rest of the population. Even with identical twins and doppelgangers, there are still little ways of telling them apart. We have varied blood types, genes, facial and bodily features and shapes. And let me not forget the whole finger print thing – no two people have the same one! Is that not indication enough that we are not supposed to be one big homogeneous soup pot of creatures?

I’m just trying to stress the importance of heterogeneity, I might have gotten carried away, but I’m sure by now you get the point. We should not all be trying to attain that particular narrow-nosed, fair-skinned, full-cheeked, full-lipped, skinny-but-shapely image of good-looking. And for the guys, not everyone can be or should be a tall beef-cake with washboard abs. I personally know a few girls who are not big on the whole sculptured abs thing.

I strongly believe that the attractiveness of a person is not, and should not be a universally agreed-upon idea, because that saying – beauty is in the eye of the beholder – has a lot of merit.

At the end of the day, it comes down to being comfortable and confident in your own skin and your own looks. It comes down to accepting the fact that no matter how you look or don’t look, there are going to be people out there who find you good-looking, and people who do not. And, you should not always take the fact that someone doesn’t find you attractive or good-looking as something to be internalized. Those kind of comments are more about what people see than about what is actually there. In the same way, how you feel about your looks, and your confidence level, are actually more about what you see than about what is actually there.


8 thoughts on “Why Would Everyone Want to Look The Same?

  1. Nice post. Very correct. Society says we have to be TDH or TTH ( tall , dark n handsome or tall , tan and handsome) with “6” packs abs as a male n size zero as a female . Used to pray to be TH (got d dark part already) when I was younger, lol.

    1. Hahaha! @”already got dark.” One thing to keep in mind is that as much as even some girls may insist that they want TDH of TTh, they could still fall for a short, pale-skinned, and unconventional-looking man. Beauty and even good-looks are in the eye of the beholder. But, most people internalize these conventional ideas of prettiness and start to think that’s what they want, and how they should look. So be consoled. LOL

  2. While they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, the unfortunate truth is that those who are TDH or slim figured and ‘magazine cover’ girl-like still have a wider pool of admirers. Everyone wants to be what the majority find attractive anyway as it makes life a bit easier especially for men.

    1. Yes, I guess it would make life easier to look like that since it’s the conventionally accepted form of good-looking. But my point is really for individuals to look past what has been accepted and defined as “good-looking” and just be confident in the goodness of their own looks. Whether it’s with 10 admirers or a 1000, your own inner confidence will abate the discontent that may arise. Ever see a short man, with a face only a mother could love act like he is a GQ model? I know I have. It’s moreso about how people perceive themselves than about how they actually look.

  3. right on! This rings true especially to the recent naming of Lupita as the most beautiful woman alive. Some were confused as to why she was considered beautiful while others were excited to see her nominated. Despite the fact that she has a lovely figure, stunning smile and fantastic personality, some felt she didn’t fit their description of beauty and wasn’t “pretty enough for the cover.” Ultimately it’s based on values. If you value what society values it’s easy to mirror its standards. This goes from standards of beauty to standards of wealth. You can be rich with money or rich with life; the wonderful thing is that God’s given us the option of choosing.

    1. That is a perfect example of what I mean when I talk about standards of prettiness. She’s not fair-skinned, narrow-nosed, etc. She’s not even the “right kind” of pretty black woman, and by that I mean mixed race woman. She is a very pretty girl, but most people just don’t see it, because she’s not conventionally pretty.

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